Love, Commitment, Pain, and Sacrifice

Love, Commitment, Pain, and Sacrifice

What is love?

That same question was posed by the musical artist Haddaway in 1993. I’m not sure what his definition is, but to me it is quite simple. Love is what you talk about, what you think about, what you spend your time on, what you spend your money on, what you sacrifice for, what you commit to, and what you do. It is who you are. People can love many things, and they can love more than one thing at a time. You can have love for a member of your family, for friends, and for your spouse. You can have love for objects like cars and shoes. And you can have love for feelings you get- like hitting a PR, winning a race, or even getting high. In life, love will drive what you do. In fitness, great achievement cannot be attained without love.

Training is a lot like marriage. If it isn't based on love, it won't last very long. Look at how many people quit working out in March and April once their New Year’s fitness kick dwindles. Also, look at how many marriages end after five or so years. In both training and marriage, the beginning is usually awesome. You’re making gains all the time (having sex all the time), and you’re trying stuff that is new and fun (going on fun dates and trips). Everything is good. Then all that stuff starts to slow down. The gains don’t come as easily, and you have to work a lot harder for them. (You have to buy flowers and set up candles to get a little loving). This is when most people quit. Why? Because they went into the whole thing with unrealistic expectations. When they realize that there's more work involved than they're willing to do, they give up. However, many people do fight through this time. They rejuvenate their love and passion and realize that the extra work is worth it. Eventually, however, you get to the point where the very act of training (or marriage) starts to drag you down. It gets boring. You start getting injured, and you can’t find the passion you once had. You question it, wondering if it’s time to call it quits and try something else. This is the second point at which people give up. They’re in a rut, and everything they once loved is now just too hard to enjoy. They can either look to their past and draw upon the lessons they have learned, fighting their way back to that deep seeded love that will never be extinguished, or they can finally give up and let the flame die.

All those people in the magazines, on stage, and on the platform—those people who we all admire—haven't gotten to where they are without a commitment level that is founded upon love. And people need to know that commitment isn't measured by weeks, months, or even years. Commitment is measured in decades. Just as a five-year marriage isn't anything spectacular, but a sixty-year marriage is incredible, serious training for a couple years is just the first few steps in a marathon race. If you really love something, you’re willing to commit to it for the long run. Instead, everyone is taught to believe that great physiques and high levels of fitness can be achieved in just thirty minutes a day, three days a week, or by trying a new diet or starting a fun, new, workout class. Commitment is frowned upon.

So let me be the one to dispel these myths and let you know the truth—great physiques, great strengths, and great achievements are built twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days a year, year after year after year after year. It is the love of the process, rather than the love of the idea, that drives the accomplishments. If you love the idea of training more than the act of training, you must come to terms with what you can realistically achieve with that mindset. Training for results only will lead to very few results. Training for the love of training, however, will lead to very great results.

Now, I realize that not everyone involved in training is going to find this deep-seeded passion for training. Not everyone will schedule their work around training instead of training around work. Not everyone will cut off relationships with friends who don’t support that lifestyle. And not everyone will schedule vacation around competitions. So for the folks who don’t fall into that category, there is still hope. There are plenty of things that we do on a regular basis that we don’t love and many times don’t even enjoy. How about paying taxes, or working on Mondays, or cleaning up our pet’s crap? We don’t do them because we love to. We do them because we know it’s what we're supposed to do. And there are other things we do that are enjoyable, but we don’t necessarily “love” doing them.

So you must find a training level that you enjoy and that adds something positive to your life. In the event you decide that you want to “step it up,” you must do the things you don’t enjoy because it’s the right thing to do. Be realistic with what you're trying to achieve, and make sure that you aren’t stepping outside the realm of what you're willing to commit to.

If you have a love for training, stay the path. The path may not always be smooth, but it is always worth it. Otherwise, make training fun and enjoyable. Make it rewarding. Find something you can do the rest of your life. If that something is going for a thirty-minute walk every night, great. If that something is competing in bodybuilding competitions at sixty years old, awesome. Accept the fact that only those who truly love the process are going to be willing to sacrifice for it, hurt for it, and work for it. And only they are going to enjoy the fruits of their labor. Others must accept that health and fitness can still be an enjoyable part of life, even though it can’t lead to the same results as those who are fully committed experience. Whatever path you choose, accept it for what it is and what it isn’t, and learn to love your decision.