Do you ever totally forget your first love?
(This excludes of course those who go through a divorce with said
person! Then they remain unforgettable in a truly different fashion!)
The
reason first love stories are so compelling to read is because there is
something so powerful about a young love experience. Is it because it
happens when our hearts are still innocent and pure -- before that first
inevitable heartbreak? Or is it because once that huge flame dies out, a
few warm embers remain to keep the memory aglow?
It's true, too,
that we tend to get even more sentimental as we age, especially about
memories of long ago. An unfinished love keeps some allure for many
years.
Whatever keeps those tender feelings in play, some long to
have that feeling again as evidenced by those who go in search of that
first love. With social media around now, it is not difficult to do.
Each
time I wrote of a love story, my own first love came to mind. Although
we did not end up together, we are still in touch as friends. It is the
kind of sentimental friendship you would feel for a best friend from way
back when. So many shared experiences make for great fun in
reminiscing.
The only thing truly unique about my own story is
that I found a soul mate so young -- a romanticist like me and a
renaissance man, in the middle of a large urban high school in a working
class neighborhood.
Here then is my own story.
When I was a
teen, I was a romanticist and a dreamer, longing for someone to cherish
me. Money was scarce too and I was surrounded by girls whose families
spoiled them with everything money could buy in the '60s and early '70s.
When I was in eighth grade, I saw the Franco Zeffirelli movie "Romeo & Juliet" with
Leonard Whiting and Olivia Hussey at least five times -- I paid for it
myself! A believer in fairy tales with an irrepressible optimism despite
my gloomy circumstances, I knew I was destined for a great and powerful
love such as the one I saw on that big screen over and over again. Oh
yes, I was a dreamer.
Sometimes dreams come true. I met my prince
when I was just 15 years old. In the massive universe of our urban high
school, we somehow connected. He was tall (6-foot to my own 5-foot-7)
and handsome, funny, smart, and talented. He was shy and old-fashioned
in the way he wooed me, beginning with asking me for a date on a
postcard where I had to check yes or no in an answer box. He was a grade
older and it took a bit of flirting to get his interest. Once I did
though, in short order, we fell deeply in love, and in our young hearts
and minds we felt we were destined to be written into the great annals
of love history like Romeo & Juliet, minus the tragedy.
His
white horse was a brand new light blue Pontiac Firebird, and he swooped
me off to great adventures on a weekly, and then daily basis in my
teenage years. I was with him when I experienced my first of many rock
concerts, and saw my first Broadway show. Other firsts for me were
experiencing elegant dining, being brought gifts and flowers, and being
made to feel like a princess for the first time in my life. We were from
different socioeconomic circumstances, and he could afford to spoil me.
Aside
from the great fun, the hours of time spent on our mutual love of
certain music and slapstick comedy, and the excessive amount of laughter
we shared, we nurtured each other's talents and dreams at a very
vulnerable and impressionable time in life. In fact, I was the first to
passionately believe in his talent and knew he would become something
great.
He expressed his feelings in almost daily love letters and
the writing was right out of a romance novel. Both of us have become
writers and he has become well-respected in Hollywood in his field. We
share a mutual pride in each other's talents and accomplishments.
I
saved his letters in an old box all these years because I just knew he
would be famous some day. See the excerpt from one of his actual letters
below:
Mostly
though, and I apologize to feminists and the like, but please read on
for why: I gained self-confidence when I desperately needed some from
someone close to my age. It is sad to say I got it from a romantic
relationship, but his opinion of my talent, my intelligence, and my
future was just the boost I needed having grown up an awkward-looking,
nerdy kid who got teased a lot. He was the very first to bring about my
understanding of my own value as a person.
With our immaturity,
our young love wasn't picture perfect. There was jealousy, anger, and
hurt along the way. The relationship became volatile with many
intoxicating highs, and conversely, devastating lows. A combination of
parental pressures and other life forces and ambitions finally broke us
up, but somehow we managed to remain friends all throughout these many
years despite living many miles apart. My children know this great guy
as an honorary "uncle" who always bestowed wonderful treats on them.
The
memories I described here stay with me in the most positive and healthy
way, because I truly believe they helped form the person I am today. My
mature heart, knowing full well where my love priorities are, never
felt the urge to run off with him as an adult. Yet, I feel compelled to
tenderly keep him among my most treasured friends.
Sometimes cyclic confusion held between friends. If you are in a true
friendship and your affections are pure towards each other friend.
Then
you can sort out this type of confusion otherwise you can't understand
and it murder your relationship. Only two sincere friends can stand
throughout all.
Example.
Once a boy and a girl became friends.
First 3 months were wonderful both enjoy it and still remember those
days. Within these months they became best friends. Girl share
everything to her boyfriend and boy also want to talk to his gf to share
experiences. But girl start avoiding him due to afraid of love that,
boy may not fall in love. She want to live friends forever. Because she
already love someone. Boy understand this situation and ready to live
whole life beside her as a best friend. But girl not aware about it and
continue avoiding. Girl want to talk and want to live friend of him but
live silent. Boy move on crazy, and don't want to lose her. He began
afraid that might one day he lose her. Girl also afraid to lose him. He
became crazier and crazier. He found himself helpless and hopeless. He
often cry to remember his beautiful time with her. He missed a lot her
talking style her care for him. But couldn't do anything.
On the
other hand girl assume he will never forgive me which I done. After few
he will unfriend me. Before he unfriend I have to leave him. When I
completely forget about him then I will online and continue new life.
Girl left him without unfriend him. Boy assume she left me for forever
and she will never come back. Boy started waiting of her.
6 Months later
Girl become and when she saw she still friend of him. She surprised to
see nothing was changed within 6 months as I left as I am seeing it now.
She dropped in confusion why he don't unfriend me?
She said sorry
to him and made promise next time she will not leave him. Boy became
happy to see it and want to talk to her. He angerly forced her to talk
but girl saw his angerness and afraid to lose him. She assume again
after few day he will unfriend me. Now this can't be control by me. Its
live better to leave him. She did it same. Boy considered that now she
left him forever in darkness of his life.
3 Months later,
she
became online and shocked again to see, boy still friend of her. She
confused again. cycle lived continue & 2 times this cycle run by 2
months gap in each. Both frustate on each other due to angerness. After
all girl sent a message in which she demanded final decision from the
boy. What should we have to do. Our friendship should be continue or
not. After you I will use it for my fav pics. When boy read this message
in hurry he send a message to discontinue friendship. After sending it
he started thinking about her last message. Why did she leave decision
on me? Why did she not take decision own? Why she will continue using
own id after me? Then he related it to previous happenings. He start
thinking why she join again and again after leaving me? What did she
actually expect before leaving me? All misunderstandindstarted
converting into understandings. Whole condition was clear now in his
mind he type message again it should be continue. And then he explained
whole cyclic confusion to her. He said about himself that he is not
leaving her or unfriend her because he was waiting when she will be
normal and understand him. When she will not afraid to lose him. After
reading the message of boy. Girl excited to chat with boy. Both don't
know what will be the chat between them. Both hope, now everything will
be fine soon.
Both stay friends in a period of cyclic misunderstanding more than 1.5
years. They are sincere so they solve it. If one of them not live
sincere then friendship can never survive in such type of intense
conditions. They are really Magi.
Be careful such type of cyclic confusions. Sometimes we never realize
and expect what other feel and why he do it which hurt us. Never assume
by own self about others it always create misunderstandings that always
create distances and can become a reason of breakup.
Best of luck for future and Take care of own and your loved ones
