ALL ABOUT LOVE...!

“One of the best guides to how to be self-loving is to give ourselves the love we are often dreaming about receiving from others. There was a time when I felt lousy about my over-forty body, saw myself as too fat, too this, or too that. Yet I fantasized about finding a lover who would give me the gift of being loved as I am. It is silly, isn't it, that I would dream of someone else offering to me the acceptance and affirmation I was withholding from myself. This was a moment when the maxim "You can never love anybody if you are unable to love yourself" made clear sense. And I add, "Do not expect to receive the love from someone else you do not give yourself.”

“Individuals who want to believe that there is no fulfillment in love, that true love does not exist, cling to these assumptions because this despair is actually easier to face than the reality that love is a real fact of life but is absent from their lives.” 

 “To return to love, to get the love we always wanted but never had, to have the love we want but are not prepared to give, we seek romantic relationships. We believe these relationships, more than any other, will rescue and redeem us. True love does have the power to redeem but only if we are ready for redemption. Love saves us only if we want to be saved.” 

 

“Relationships are treated like Dixie cups. They are the same. They are disposable. If it does not work, drop it, throw it away, get another.
Committed bonds (including marriage) cannot last when this is the prevailing logic. Most of us are unclear about what to do to protect and strengthen caring bonds when our self-centered needs are not being met.”  

“It still took years for me to let go of learned pattern's of behavior that negated my capacity to give and receive love. One pattern that made the practice of love especially difficult was my constantly choosing to be with men who were emotionally wounded, who were not that interested in loving, even though they desired to be loved. I wanted to know love but was afraid to be intimate. By choosing men who were not interested in being loving, I was able to practice giving love but always within an unfufilling context. Naturally, my need to receive love was not met. I got what I was accustomed to getting. Care and affection, usually mingled with a degree of unkindness, neglect, and on some occasions, out right cruelty.”

Don't Fight The Feelings Of Love Lyrics  

"Don't Fight The Feelings Of Love" was written by Schweers, John.

Don'tcha, don'tcha, don'tcha fight the feelings of love
'Cause love is something nobody ever gets enough of
So reach out your hand, take in all the sunshine from above
Well now love is believing so don't fight the feelings
Don't fight the feelings of love

A boy and a girl in a big spinning world
Upside down in love from the start
Sunny days and laughing skies true love in both their eyes
Spending happy good times in the park

Learning all about living, taking and the giving
Love is growing stronger every day
Well now never be another 'cause they're trusting each other
Good love seems to just work out that way

I said now don'tcha, don'tcha, don'tcha fight the feelings of love
'Cause love is something nobody ever gets enough of
So reach out your hand, take in all the sunshine from above
Well now love is believing so don't fight the feelings
Don't fight the feelings of love

Don't fight the feelings, don't fight the feelings
Don't fight the feelings of love

Love, Commitment, Pain, and Sacrifice

Love, Commitment, Pain, and Sacrifice

What is love?

That same question was posed by the musical artist Haddaway in 1993. I’m not sure what his definition is, but to me it is quite simple. Love is what you talk about, what you think about, what you spend your time on, what you spend your money on, what you sacrifice for, what you commit to, and what you do. It is who you are. People can love many things, and they can love more than one thing at a time. You can have love for a member of your family, for friends, and for your spouse. You can have love for objects like cars and shoes. And you can have love for feelings you get- like hitting a PR, winning a race, or even getting high. In life, love will drive what you do. In fitness, great achievement cannot be attained without love.

Training is a lot like marriage. If it isn't based on love, it won't last very long. Look at how many people quit working out in March and April once their New Year’s fitness kick dwindles. Also, look at how many marriages end after five or so years. In both training and marriage, the beginning is usually awesome. You’re making gains all the time (having sex all the time), and you’re trying stuff that is new and fun (going on fun dates and trips). Everything is good. Then all that stuff starts to slow down. The gains don’t come as easily, and you have to work a lot harder for them. (You have to buy flowers and set up candles to get a little loving). This is when most people quit. Why? Because they went into the whole thing with unrealistic expectations. When they realize that there's more work involved than they're willing to do, they give up. However, many people do fight through this time. They rejuvenate their love and passion and realize that the extra work is worth it. Eventually, however, you get to the point where the very act of training (or marriage) starts to drag you down. It gets boring. You start getting injured, and you can’t find the passion you once had. You question it, wondering if it’s time to call it quits and try something else. This is the second point at which people give up. They’re in a rut, and everything they once loved is now just too hard to enjoy. They can either look to their past and draw upon the lessons they have learned, fighting their way back to that deep seeded love that will never be extinguished, or they can finally give up and let the flame die.

All those people in the magazines, on stage, and on the platform—those people who we all admire—haven't gotten to where they are without a commitment level that is founded upon love. And people need to know that commitment isn't measured by weeks, months, or even years. Commitment is measured in decades. Just as a five-year marriage isn't anything spectacular, but a sixty-year marriage is incredible, serious training for a couple years is just the first few steps in a marathon race. If you really love something, you’re willing to commit to it for the long run. Instead, everyone is taught to believe that great physiques and high levels of fitness can be achieved in just thirty minutes a day, three days a week, or by trying a new diet or starting a fun, new, workout class. Commitment is frowned upon.

So let me be the one to dispel these myths and let you know the truth—great physiques, great strengths, and great achievements are built twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days a year, year after year after year after year. It is the love of the process, rather than the love of the idea, that drives the accomplishments. If you love the idea of training more than the act of training, you must come to terms with what you can realistically achieve with that mindset. Training for results only will lead to very few results. Training for the love of training, however, will lead to very great results.

Now, I realize that not everyone involved in training is going to find this deep-seeded passion for training. Not everyone will schedule their work around training instead of training around work. Not everyone will cut off relationships with friends who don’t support that lifestyle. And not everyone will schedule vacation around competitions. So for the folks who don’t fall into that category, there is still hope. There are plenty of things that we do on a regular basis that we don’t love and many times don’t even enjoy. How about paying taxes, or working on Mondays, or cleaning up our pet’s crap? We don’t do them because we love to. We do them because we know it’s what we're supposed to do. And there are other things we do that are enjoyable, but we don’t necessarily “love” doing them.

So you must find a training level that you enjoy and that adds something positive to your life. In the event you decide that you want to “step it up,” you must do the things you don’t enjoy because it’s the right thing to do. Be realistic with what you're trying to achieve, and make sure that you aren’t stepping outside the realm of what you're willing to commit to.

If you have a love for training, stay the path. The path may not always be smooth, but it is always worth it. Otherwise, make training fun and enjoyable. Make it rewarding. Find something you can do the rest of your life. If that something is going for a thirty-minute walk every night, great. If that something is competing in bodybuilding competitions at sixty years old, awesome. Accept the fact that only those who truly love the process are going to be willing to sacrifice for it, hurt for it, and work for it. And only they are going to enjoy the fruits of their labor. Others must accept that health and fitness can still be an enjoyable part of life, even though it can’t lead to the same results as those who are fully committed experience. Whatever path you choose, accept it for what it is and what it isn’t, and learn to love your decision.

FELL MY LOVE

When the rain is blowing in your face
And the whole world is on your case
I could offer you a warm embrace
To make you feel my love


When the evening shadows and the stars appear
And there is no one there to dry your tears
I could hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love


I know you haven't made your mind up yet
But I would never do you wrong
I've known it from the moment that we met
no doubt in my mind were you belong


I'd go hungry, I'd go black and blue
I'd go crawling down the avenue
No, there's nothing that I wouldn't do
To make you feel my love


The storms are raging on the rolling sea
And on the highway of regret
The winds of change are blowing wild and free
You ain't seen nothing like me yet


I could make you happy, make your dreams come true
Nothing that I wouldn't do
Go to the ends of the Earth for you
To make you feel my love


To make you feel my love

First Love Feelings...!

Do you ever totally forget your first love? (This excludes of course those who go through a divorce with said person! Then they remain unforgettable in a truly different fashion!)

The reason first love stories are so compelling to read is because there is something so powerful about a young love experience. Is it because it happens when our hearts are still innocent and pure -- before that first inevitable heartbreak? Or is it because once that huge flame dies out, a few warm embers remain to keep the memory aglow?

It's true, too, that we tend to get even more sentimental as we age, especially about memories of long ago. An unfinished love keeps some allure for many years.

Whatever keeps those tender feelings in play, some long to have that feeling again as evidenced by those who go in search of that first love. With social media around now, it is not difficult to do.

Each time I wrote of a love story, my own first love came to mind. Although we did not end up together, we are still in touch as friends. It is the kind of sentimental friendship you would feel for a best friend from way back when. So many shared experiences make for great fun in reminiscing.

The only thing truly unique about my own story is that I found a soul mate so young -- a romanticist like me and a renaissance man, in the middle of a large urban high school in a working class neighborhood.

Here then is my own story.

When I was a teen, I was a romanticist and a dreamer, longing for someone to cherish me. Money was scarce too and I was surrounded by girls whose families spoiled them with everything money could buy in the '60s and early '70s.

When I was in eighth grade, I saw the Franco Zeffirelli movie "Romeo & Juliet" with Leonard Whiting and Olivia Hussey at least five times -- I paid for it myself! A believer in fairy tales with an irrepressible optimism despite my gloomy circumstances, I knew I was destined for a great and powerful love such as the one I saw on that big screen over and over again. Oh yes, I was a dreamer.

Sometimes dreams come true. I met my prince when I was just 15 years old. In the massive universe of our urban high school, we somehow connected. He was tall (6-foot to my own 5-foot-7) and handsome, funny, smart, and talented. He was shy and old-fashioned in the way he wooed me, beginning with asking me for a date on a postcard where I had to check yes or no in an answer box. He was a grade older and it took a bit of flirting to get his interest. Once I did though, in short order, we fell deeply in love, and in our young hearts and minds we felt we were destined to be written into the great annals of love history like Romeo & Juliet, minus the tragedy.

His white horse was a brand new light blue Pontiac Firebird, and he swooped me off to great adventures on a weekly, and then daily basis in my teenage years. I was with him when I experienced my first of many rock concerts, and saw my first Broadway show. Other firsts for me were experiencing elegant dining, being brought gifts and flowers, and being made to feel like a princess for the first time in my life. We were from different socioeconomic circumstances, and he could afford to spoil me.

Aside from the great fun, the hours of time spent on our mutual love of certain music and slapstick comedy, and the excessive amount of laughter we shared, we nurtured each other's talents and dreams at a very vulnerable and impressionable time in life. In fact, I was the first to passionately believe in his talent and knew he would become something great.

He expressed his feelings in almost daily love letters and the writing was right out of a romance novel. Both of us have become writers and he has become well-respected in Hollywood in his field. We share a mutual pride in each other's talents and accomplishments.

I saved his letters in an old box all these years because I just knew he would be famous some day. See the excerpt from one of his actual letters below:

Mostly though, and I apologize to feminists and the like, but please read on for why: I gained self-confidence when I desperately needed some from someone close to my age. It is sad to say I got it from a romantic relationship, but his opinion of my talent, my intelligence, and my future was just the boost I needed having grown up an awkward-looking, nerdy kid who got teased a lot. He was the very first to bring about my understanding of my own value as a person.

With our immaturity, our young love wasn't picture perfect. There was jealousy, anger, and hurt along the way. The relationship became volatile with many intoxicating highs, and conversely, devastating lows. A combination of parental pressures and other life forces and ambitions finally broke us up, but somehow we managed to remain friends all throughout these many years despite living many miles apart. My children know this great guy as an honorary "uncle" who always bestowed wonderful treats on them.

The memories I described here stay with me in the most positive and healthy way, because I truly believe they helped form the person I am today. My mature heart, knowing full well where my love priorities are, never felt the urge to run off with him as an adult. Yet, I feel compelled to tenderly keep him among my most treasured friends.

Real Fact Of Facebook Relations

Sometimes cyclic confusion held between friends. If you are in a true friendship and your affections are pure towards each other friend.

Then you can sort out this type of confusion otherwise you can't understand and it murder your relationship. Only two sincere friends can stand throughout all.
Example.
Once a boy and a girl became friends. First 3 months were wonderful both enjoy it and still remember those days. Within these months they became best friends. Girl share everything to her boyfriend and boy also want to talk to his gf to share experiences. But girl start avoiding him due to afraid of love that, boy may not fall in love. She want to live friends forever. Because she already love someone. Boy understand this situation and ready to live whole life beside her as a best friend. But girl not aware about it and continue avoiding. Girl want to talk and want to live friend of him but live silent. Boy move on crazy, and don't want to lose her. He began afraid that might one day he lose her. Girl also afraid to lose him. He became crazier and crazier. He found himself helpless and hopeless. He often cry to remember his beautiful time with her. He missed a lot her talking style her care for him. But couldn't do anything.
On the other hand girl assume he will never forgive me which I done. After few he will unfriend me. Before he unfriend I have to leave him. When I completely forget about him then I will online and continue new life. Girl left him without unfriend him. Boy assume she left me for forever and she will never come back. Boy started waiting of her.

6 Months later

Girl become and when she saw she still friend of him. She surprised to see nothing was changed within 6 months as I left as I am seeing it now. She dropped in confusion why he don't unfriend me?
She said sorry to him and made promise next time she will not leave him. Boy became happy to see it and want to talk to her. He angerly forced her to talk but girl saw his angerness and afraid to lose him. She assume again after few day he will unfriend me. Now this can't be control by me. Its live better to leave him. She did it same. Boy considered that now she left him forever in darkness of his life.
3 Months later,
she became online and shocked again to see, boy still friend of her. She confused again. cycle lived continue & 2 times this cycle run by 2 months gap in each. Both frustate on each other due to angerness. After all girl sent a message in which she demanded final decision from the boy. What should we have to do. Our friendship should be continue or not. After you I will use it for my fav pics. When boy read this message in hurry he send a message to discontinue friendship. After sending it he started thinking about her last message. Why did she leave decision on me? Why did she not take decision own? Why she will continue using own id after me? Then he related it to previous happenings. He start thinking why she join again and again after leaving me? What did she actually expect before leaving me? All misunderstandindstarted converting into understandings. Whole condition was clear now in his mind he type message again it should be continue. And then he explained whole cyclic confusion to her. He said about himself that he is not leaving her or unfriend her because he was waiting when she will be normal and understand him. When she will not afraid to lose him. After reading the message of boy. Girl excited to chat with boy. Both don't know what will be the chat between them. Both hope, now everything will be fine soon.

Both stay friends in a period of cyclic misunderstanding more than 1.5 years. They are sincere so they solve it. If one of them not live sincere then friendship can never survive in such type of intense conditions. They are really Magi.

Be careful such type of cyclic confusions. Sometimes we never realize and expect what other feel and why he do it which hurt us. Never assume by own self about others it always create misunderstandings that always create distances and can become a reason of breakup.

Best of luck for future and Take care of own and your loved ones

" BABY I DID NOT BREAK MY PROMISE"

Girl: Hey baby, happy birthday

Boy: Thank you
Girl: I’ll be at your house at 7:30pm
Boy: Okay babe, promise?
Girl: Yeah, I promise. I love you so much.. no matter what happens.
Boy: I love you too. I am going to cook for our dinner
Girl: Okay baby

Exactly 7:30, girl does not arrive…
1 hour goes by. 8:30 and the girl arrives….

Boy: Hey babe.. What took you so long?
Girl: *hugs him*, sorry. There was a lot of traffic.
Boy: Its okay as long as you are here I bet you’re hungry.

They went to dinner and ate and talked…
*boy phone rings* *Its the girls mom*

Boy: Hello Girls mom: ( crying ) son, I have to tell you something I am
in the hospital right now my daughter just passed out.
Boy: Ha? What are you talking about?

Girls Mom : (Crying) She was in a car crash a "hour ago" she did not make it.

Boy: "Shocked" And Looks His Girl

" The Girl is In Dark And Holding A Candle saying

" BABY I DID NOT BREAK MY PROMISE"

Jumma Mubarak

Jumma Mubarak - Friday Is Very Important 

Day
for Muslims of all over the world,we have heard
and read soo many Hadiths or Hadees about the
importance of this Holy Day (Friday), in the light
of Islamic history soo many important things and
events happened on the Day of Friday (Jumma).
On the very special Day (Friday) we wish you
glory of joy and peace in your life. Aameen Thuma Aameen Yaa Raabi...

Infatuation: & Real Love

Infatuation: Infatuations start fast. There is no such thing as real love at first sight, but there can be infatuation at first sight. The love songs say, “The eyes of the lovers meet across a crowded room, lights flash, and they just know that they are meant for each other.” Actually, they do not know anything except they have made a good first impression on each other.

Real love: Real love always starts slowly. It cannot be any other way. You have to know a person before you can truly love that person and that takes time—lots of time—to really know someone.

A long courtship is far better than a short one. One year is better than six months, two years better than one, three years better than two, and four better than three.

The statistics are absolutely clear on this subject. But most young people will not wait even one year. Many who rush into marriage learn by sad experience the truth of the old saying: Marry in haste, repent in leisure. If you make the mistake of rushing into marriage, you will have plenty of time to be sorry afterward.

Think??

Pakistan will curse us if rain falls ill fortune and will not byskuny. . .
The boys and girls study together. . .
When the woman exclaimed market. . .
When the man ordered her sister, wife and daughter will not drape. . .
When the recitation of Quran by all music and songs will sound. . .
When Naat Sharif by all the stray byhudh muzk voices and guitars will be. . .
When the Messenger of prayer, fasting and Sunni and mjry will be seen dirty dancing. . .
When the young girls in school and college mahram men will read. . .
The market growth will become desolate places. . .
The class of scholars and exclusionary restrictions were chained hand stray secular Mom and Dad would be shameful. . .
When the people of the eastern Islamic mapping of European society will be cursed. . .
When the Mullahs and Islamic lifestyle, schools will be abused. . .
The banks will do business interest. . .
The poor will be difficult to marry the daughter. . .
When all the young boys to commit adultery curse would normally be. . .
When the Prophet Prophet's enemies will go public. . .
When the furry companions revilers, black pagan name the companions are sold and abused mother Aisha. . .
The debtor will be difficult to live modest and true Muslims. . .
The lure of dollars in home guards themselves Muslims themselves and for dollars on the bombing of the case, they will provide to the daughter. . .
The order of the United States of America be America's enemies. . .
The courts will have to face the Englishman. . .
The whole structure of the army and police law, the law of the United Kingdom will be wrong. . .
When the sprawling Sunni dress up wearing barbarian will be English. . .
When the Prophet Muhammad Moazzam Happy Sunni beards shaved gutter will be shed and the forms to be wise men. . .
The measure will be reduced. . .
When will be the lies and hypocrisy. . .
The parents will be more than friends and friend's honor. . .
The old father instead of serving it will be submitted to the Old Home. . .
The tranquility of the house rather than in clinics and hospitals are required. . .
The guest house rather than with respect hutlun and food markets will bynur. . .
When will the taxes and penalties are imposed. . .
When she dreamed of parents to name calling and mom and dad will be taken. . .
When the wine would normally. . .
When women wear tight fit and will be choosing crap. . .
The Empowered Media mnghrt will correct things. . .
When the righteous scholars and zydhamd Ahmed Qadiani instead will follow the abominable professors. . .
When the secular liberal and symmetry of people out on the streets and schools, will run against the dirty tongues. . .
. If
successive punishment will come.
nhustyn will come.
byskuny will increase.
Electricity, gas and gasoline as a favor to the victim.
The massacre will be. Do not abuse the rulers, hud take a good look at itself also will be Zara.
.
So all the people to repent for Allah. Ahkaman Allah and the Prophet's spiritual principles. Creatures serve. This is success and prosperity in the world.

"Emotions"

You've got me feeling emotions

Deeper than I've ever dreamed of

You've got me feeling emotions

Higher than the heavens above

I feel good

I feel nice

I've never felt so

Satisfied

I'm in love

I'm alive

Intoxicated

Flying high

It feels like a dream

When you touch me tenderly

I don't know if it's real

But I like the way I feel

Inside

In the morning

When I rise

You are the first thing

On my mind

And in the middle

Of the night

I feel your heartbeat

Next to mine

If feels like a dream

When you love me tenderly

I don't know if you're for real

But I like the way I feel

Inside

You know the way to make me lose control

When you're looking into my eyes

You make me feel so

High

"Feelings"

You and me and all that wine

Loosen my tie, lie down, let's fly

Every guy that passes by

(Look at her, look at her oh)

And you say that it's not right

But where does he think you are tonight?

Does he know your nasty side?

(Look at her, look at her oh)

If you want me take me home and let me use you

I know he doesn't satisfy you like I do

And does he know that there's nobody quite like you

So let me tell you all the things he never told you

(yeah!)

I got these feelings for you

And I can't help myself no more

Can't fight these feelings for you

No, I can't help myself no more

I, I, I

You and me let's go all night

Going so high, we f*ck the sky

Come with me now, f*ck that guy

(Look at her, look at her oh)

Now you flash that sexy smile

And tell me I've got to wait a while

And it makes me lose my mind

(Look at her, look at her oh)

If you want me take me home and let me use you

I know he doesn't satisfy you like I do

And does he know that there's nobody quite like you

So let me tell you all the things he never told you

(Yeah!)

I got these feelings for you

And I can't help myself no more

Can't fight these feelings for you

No, I can't help myself no more

I, I, I

(Can't help myself no more)

I, I, I

No, I can't wait much longer

It needs to happen now

'Cause I can't spend the rest of my life chasing you around

I want to get much closer

You need to tell me how

Baby, how, how

Babe, 'cause I

I got these feelings for you

And I can't help myself no more

Can't fight these feelings for you

No, I can't help myself no more

I got these feelings for you

(Got these feelings for ya, got these feelings for ya)

Can't fight these feelings for you

No, I can't help myself no more

I, I, I

There comes a point

"There comes a point when you just love someone. Not because they’re good, or bad, or anything really. You just love them. It doesn’t mean you’ll be together forever. It doesn’t
mean you won’t hurt each other. It just means you love them."

 One Day… you’ll realize that my
love is true….”
“One day… you’ll realize that you’ll
need me too…”
“One day… you’ll see what worth i
am to you..”
“One day… you’ll feel the longing
that i once feel when you leave
me….”
“i wish that One Day… you’ll love
me too… the way i do.. !!

Love Never Dies

Love Never Dies is a romantic musical with music by Andrew Lloyd Webber, lyrics by

Glenn Slater with additional lyrics by Charles Hart, and book by Lloyd Webber and Ben Elton, with additional material by Slater and Frederick Forsyth. It is a sequel to Lloyd Webber's long-running musical The Phantom of the Opera.The musical is set in 1907,which Lloyd Webber states is, "ten years roughly after the end of the original Phantom,"although the events of the original actually took place in 1881.Christine Daaé is invited to perform at Phantasma, a new attraction in Coney Island, by an anonymous impresario and, with her husband Raoul and son Gustave in tow, journeys to Brooklyn, unaware that it is the Phantom who has arranged her appearance in the popular beach resort.

Although Lloyd Webber began working on Love Never Dies in 1990, it was not until 2007 that he began writing the music. The musical opened at the Adelphi Theatre in the West End on 9 March 2010 with previews from 22 February 2010. It was originally directed by Jack O'Brien and choreographed by Jerry Mitchell, however the show closed for four days in November 2010 for substantial re-writes, which were overseen by Lloyd Webber, and it opened with new direction from Bill Kenwright. Set and costume designs were by Bob Crowley. The original London production received mostly negative reviews,however, the subsequent Australian production featuring an entirely new design team and heavy revisions was generally better received. The planned Broadway production, which was to have opened simultaneously with the West End run, was delayed and then indefinitely postponed.

Love Is Life

Every atom of your flesh is as dear to me as my own: in pain and sickness it would still be dear.

Each time you happen to me all over again.

I’ve never had a moment’s doubt. I love you. I believe in you completely. You are my dearest one. My reason for life.

You know what I am going to say. I love you. What other men may mean when they use that expression, I cannot tell; what I mean is, that I am under the influence of some tremendous attraction which I have resisted in vain, and which overmasters me.

Best Quote...!

A Man Asked God: WhY Did

U Made Woman So Cute?

God Said: So U Can Love

Her..

Man Asks: But God Y Did U

Made Her So Stupid

God Says: So She Can Love

U too...

Friends Love

Friends can help each other. A true friend is someone who lets you have total freedom to be yourself - and especially to feel. Or, not feel. Whatever you happen to be feeling at the moment is fine with them. That's what real love amounts to - letting a person be what he really is.Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty.I love that feeling of being in love, the effect of having butterflies when you wake up in the morning. That is special.

Women's Rights in Islam...!

 

Women's Rights in Islam

The issue of women in Islam, is topic of great misunderstanding and distortion due partly to a lack of understanding, but also partly due to misbehavior of some Muslims which has been taken to represent the teachings of Islam. We speak here about what Islam teaches, and that is that standard according to which Muslims are to be judged. As such, my basis and source is the Quran--the words of Allah, and the sayings of the Prophet, his deeds and his confirmation. Islamic laws are derived from these sources. To facilitate our discussion we can discuss the position of women from a spiritual, economic, social, and political standpoint.

From the spiritual aspect, there are seven points to remember:

According to the Quran, men and women have the same spirit, there is no superiority in the spiritual sense between men and women. [Noble Quran 4:1, 7:189, 42:11]

The Quran makes it clear that all human beings (and the phraseology doesn't apply to men or women alone, but to both) have what you might call a human; He

"breathed some of My spirit into divine touch. When God created him"(or her in this sense).[Noble Quran 15:29 See also 32:9]

Some of His spirit here means not in the incarnational sense, but the pure, innate spiritual nature that God has endowed her or him with.

The Quran indicates again that one of the most honored positions of human, is that God created the human, and as I referred to Surah 17 earlier, it means both sexes, as His trustee and representative on earth. There are many references in the Quran that reaffirm this.

Nowhere in the Quran do we find any trace of any notion of blaming Eve for the first mistake or for eating from the forbidden tree. Nowhere, even though the Quran speaks about Adam, Eve, and the forbidden tree, but in a totally different spirit. The story is narrated in 7:19-27, and it speaks about both of them doing this, both of them are told that both of them disobeyed, both of them discovered the consequences of their disobedience, both of them seek repentance and both of them are forgiven. Nowhere in the Quran does it say woman is to be blamed for the fall of man. Furthermore, when the Quran speaks about the suffering of women during the period of pregnancy and childbirth, nowhere does it connect it with the concept of original sin, because there is no concept of original sin in Islam. The suffering is presented not as a reason to remind woman of the fall of man, but as a reason to adore and love woman or the mother. In the Quran, especially 31:14, 46:15, it makes it quite clear God has commanded upon mankind to be kind to parents and mentions,

"His mother bore him in difficulty or suffering upon suffering." [Noble Quran 31:14, 46:15]

The Quran makes it clear again to remove any notion of superiority and I refer you again to 49:13. I must caution you that there are some mistaken translations, but if you go to the original Arabic, there is no question of gender being involved.

In terms of moral, spiritual duties, acts of worship, the requirements of men and women are the same, except in some cases when women have certain concessions because of their feminine nature, or their health or the health of their babies.

The Quran explicitly, in more than one verse, 3:195, 4:124, specified that whoever does good deeds, and is a believer and then specifies "male or female" God will give them an abundant reward.

In the area of economic rights, we have to remember that in Europe until the 19th century, women did not have the right to own their own property. When they were married, either it would transfer to the husband or she would not be able to dispense of it without permission of her husband. In Britain, perhaps the first country to give women some property rights, laws were passed in the 1860's known as "Married Women Property Act." More than 1300 years earlier, that right was clearly established in Islamic law.

"Whatever men earn, they have a share of that and whatever women earn, they have a share in that." [Noble Quran 4:32]

Secondly, there is no restriction in Islamic law that says a woman cannot work or have a profession, that her only place is in the home. In fact, by definition, in a truly Islamic society, there must be women physicians, women nurses, women teachers, because it's preferable also to separate teenagers in the volatile years in high school education. And if she chooses to work, or if she's married with the consent of her husband, she's entitled to equal pay, not for equal work, but for work of equal worth.

Thirdly, when it comes to financial security, Islamic law is more tilted in many respects towards women. These are seven examples:

During the period of engagement, a woman is to be on the receiving side of gifts.

At the time of marriage, it is the duty of the husband, not the bride's family. He is supposed to pay for a marital gift. The Quran called it a gift, and it is exclusively the right of the woman. She doesn't have to spend it on the household, she doesn't have to give it to her father or anyone else.

If the woman happened to own any property prior to marriage, she retains that property after marriage. It remains under her control. Also, in most Muslim countries, the woman keeps her own last name, and her own identity.

If the woman has any earnings during her marital life, by way of investments of her property or as a result of work, she doesn't have to spend one penny of that income on the household, it is entirely hers.

The full maintenance and support of a married woman is the entire responsibility of her husband, even though she might be richer than he is. She doesn't have to spend a penny.

At the time of divorce, there are certain guarantees during the waiting period and even beyond for a woman's support.

If the widow or divorcee has children, she's entitled to child support.

In return for these listed securities, it is clear why the Islamic laws pertaining to inheritance give men a higher share. From the social standpoint, as a daughter we find that credit goes to Islam for stopping the barbaric practice of pre-Islamic Arabs of female infanticide. These ignorant people used to bury female daughters alive. The Quran forbade the practice, making it a crime. Surah 81 Additionally, the Quran condemned the chauvinistic attitudes of some people who used to greet the birth of a boy with gladness, but sadness in the case of a girl.

The duty, not the right, the duty of education, as the Prophet said, is a duty on every Muslim, male and female.

As far as treatment of daughters is concerned, Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) said, "Anyone who has two daughters, and did not bury them, did not insult them and brought them up properly, he and I will be like this," holding his two fingers close together. Another version adds, "And also did not favor his sons over daughters." One time the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) was seated. A companion was sitting with him. The companion's son came. He kissed his son and put him on his lap. Then his daughter came, and he just sat her by his side. The Prophet told the man, "You did not do Justice," meaning he should have treated the daughter equally, kissed her and put her in his lap also. Indeed, whenever the Prophet's daughter Fatimah came to him, in front of everyone, he stood up, kissed her and let her sit in his favorite place where he'd been sitting.

From the marital standpoint, the Quran clearly indicates in Surahs 30:20 and 42:11 that marriage is not just an inevitable evil, marriage is not somebody getting married to his master or slave, but rather to his partner.

"Among His Signs is this, that he created for you mates from among yourselves, that they may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): Verily in that are signs for those who reflect." [Noble Quran 30:21]

There are numerous verses in the Quran to the same effect.

Secondly, the approval and consent of the girl to marriage is a prerequisite for the validity of marriage in Islam. She has the right to say yes or no.

Husbands' and wives' duties are mutual responsibilities. They might not be identical duties, but the totality of rights and responsibilities are balanced. The Quran says:

"Women have the same rights (in relation to their husbands) as are expected in all decency from them, while men stand a step above them." [Noble Quran 2:228]

This only specifies the degree of responsibility, not privilege, in man's role as provider, protector, maintainer, and leader of the family. The same Surah speaks about divorce, about consultation between husband and wife, even in the case of divorce. When there are family disputes, first the Quran appeals to reason and the consideration of positive aspects of one's spouse,

"Dwell with your wives in kindness for even if you hate them, you might be hating someone in whom God has placed so much good." [Noble Quran 4:19]

If that appeal does not succeed, and problems between the husband and wife continue, there are measures that can be applied. Some of these measures are done privately between husband and wife. Some of them might appear harsh, but there are qualifications to restrict excessive or abusive use of these measures. These measures are considered an attempt to save a marriage rather than break a family apart. If the situation does not improve, even with the limitation and prevention of excesses, the next step is a family council. One arbiter from his family and one from her family should sit together with the couple and try to resolve the problems.

If a divorce becomes necessary, there are many detailed procedures in Islamic law that really knock down the common notion that divorce in Islam is very easy and that it is the sole right of man. It is not the sole right of man alone and neither is it true that all you have to say is: "I divorce you three times," and that's it. Islam also has laws regarding custody of children. I was very surprised to see newspapers making the false claim that in all cases custody goes to the father. Custody involves the interest of the child, and laws often favor the mother of young children.

Polygamy has become so mythical in the minds of many people that they assume being Muslim means having four wives. This is a false notion, of course. A very renowned anthropologist, Edward Westermarck, in his two-volume work, "History of Human Marriage," notes that there has been polygamy in virtually every culture and religion, including Judaism and Christianity. But the point here is not to say, "Why blame Islam?" Actually, Islam is the only religion even among Abrahamic faiths, that specifically limited the practice of polygamy that existed before Islam and established very strict conditions for guidance. The question, "How could any man have two wives? That's terrible!" reflects ethnocentrism. We assume that because we're living in the West and it seems strange, and we assume it must apply to all cultures, all times, under all circumstances. This simply isn't true. Let me give you one current-day example. In the savage attack on Afghanistan, genocide was committed on the Afghani people. It is estimated that 1-1.5 million people lost their lives, a great majority of whom were men of a marriageable age. Now, with a great shortage of men, what will happen to their widows, their orphans and their daughters of marriageable age? Is it better to leave them in a camp, with a handout? Or better a man is willing to take care of his fallen comrade's wife and children?

It is obvious that monogamy is the norm for Muslims. If we assume that having four wives is the norm, then we assume a population of 80% female and 20% male, which is an impossibility on the aggregate level. The only verse in the Quran that speaks about polygamy, speaks about limiting not instituting polygamy. The verse was revealed after the Battle of Uhud in which many Muslims were martyred, leaving behind wives and children in need of support. This verse shows the spirit and reason of the revelation.

The Quran placed obedience to parents immediately after worship of God.

"We commanded mankind to be kind to his parents" [Noble Quran 31:14]

And then speaks of the mother. In a very succinct statement, Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) said, "Paradise is at the feet of mothers." Once a man came to him and asked, "O, Messenger, who among mankind is worthy of my kindness and love?" The Prophet answered, "Your mother." "Who next?" "Your mother." "Who next?" "Your mother." Only after the third time he said, "And your father."

As a sister in faith, in blood, we find the Quran speaks about men and women, that they should cooperate and collaborate in goodness. Surah 9:71 speaks about men and women as supporters and helpers of each other, ordaining the good and forbidding the evil, establishing prayers and doing charity. Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) echoed what the Quran said, "I command you to be kind to women." In one of his last commands in his farewell pilgrimage before his death, he kept repeating, "I command you to be kind and considerate to women." In another hadith, he said, "It is only the generous in character who is good to women, and only the evil one who insults them."

On the question of attire, the Quran and the sayings of the Prophet did not say women must adopt a particular dress of a particular country. It only gives basic boundaries, and for a committed Muslim woman, she doesn't follow this simply because her father or husband tells her, but because Allah already stated that as a requirement in the Quran, and was explained through revelation given to Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) that this was not to restrict woman, but to provide a virtuous society where sexual attraction is not the main obsession of everyone. This forces everyone to respect the woman for what she is as a human being, as an intellectual and a spiritual being, rather than being diverted to her sexuality.

Finally, a few words about political involvement. The verse quoted earlier, Surah 9:71, which speaks about men and women being supporters and helpers of each other was taken by some jurists to mean that it involves also public life. How could they ordain the good and forbid the evil without women being active in the affairs of their society? According to the Quran, I'm not talking about the practices of Muslims, in Surah 60:12, we read about Muslim women making "bayy'ah" to the Prophet. Bayy'ah as an Islamic term is somewhat analogous, to a degree, to what we would call an election, or oath of allegiance. And that was given in his capacity not only as a Prophet, but as a head of state, as he was already the head of state in Medina.

During the rein of 'Umar, women participated in law making. 'Umar made a proposal of a certain regulation concerning marriage. A woman in the mosque stood up and said, "'Umar, you can't do that." 'Umar did not tell her, "Shut up, you are a woman, you have nothing to do with politics, etc." He asked, "Why?" She made her argument on the basis of Quran. In front of everybody, he stood up and said, "The woman is right and 'Umar is wrong," and he withdrew his proposal. That was the spirit in the early days of Islam.

In the most authentic collection of Hadith, Hadith Bukhari, a section is devoted to the participation of women, not only in public affairs, but in the battlefield, too, and not only as logistical support. Women carried arms, and when there was great danger to the Muslims, they volunteered to participate even in the battlefield.

The problems presented here are not the problems of Islam. They are problems of a lack of commitment, lack of application, or misapplication of Islamic teachings by Muslims themselves. The topics I have tried to cover here represent and exemplify the big gap that exists between the true teachings of Islam as derived from its original sources and its projected image in the West and the way some Muslims behave in the disregard of those noble teachings.

There's no question that the Western media has played an important role in perpetuating these misconceptions. But in fairness, we should not blame the media alone. Western culture, in writings about other religions, in particular Islam, have distorted images. From books, novels, even in the academic circle, and sermons from the pulpit in places of worship, these kinds of prejudices are perpetuated.

There are fair and honorable people in the media who are receptive to correction of inaccuracies, and who present the facts, when the facts become manifest, as we have seen in the coverage of the barbaric and cruel treatment of the Palestinians n the Occupied Territories. What I would suggest to the media is instead of depending on the distorted information about Islam, they should keep in touch with educated Muslims, and remember, the U.S. has between 5 and 6 million Muslims. Only through correct representation and open communication with Muslims in America can the media give a fair analysis of current events, given the background of those conflicts, and provide a great service to society.